The final poem from Periodic Boyfriends to find a home prior to the book's publication is the sonnet "Mendelevium." This poem concerns the man who first led me down the rabbit hole of online cruising yet the titular element itself is paradoxically the last one to be discovered within the Actinide family. All the other Actinide poems are focused on men I met via Grindr and Scruff yet never met in person (at least at the time of composition). But including this ode in the collection's sub-section of virtual lovers felt right to me.
True Story: The queen who introduced me
to online dating was a fellow souse
who favored Russian vodka – in those days,
a weakly effective bond. I went to
his place twice, first after his hemorrhoid
operation. (He asked if I would like
to see his newly shaven crack. Um, no.)
Our second “date,” he logged into a chat
room where he initiated contact
with this classic: “GWM ISO
deep relationship. How big is your dick?”
I laughed long and hard. He grew bewildered.
I explained: Too much, too soon. Looking back,
I would say he was ahead of his time. First published in Red Tree Review, Issue 3 (May 2023). Image courtesy of Pixabay.