Poem: "Martha" at "A Gathering of the Tribes"

For the last few years, I've been co-curating the line-up for Come Hear!, a day-long marathon of LGBTQIA+ poetry at the Rainbow Book Fair at NYC's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center in the West Village. This year, following the event itself, A Gathering of the Tribes posted poems by all the writers involved, including some who were invited but unable to attend. My own contribution for the online anthology is "Martha," a poem from my Fassbinder collection. You can read that poem below or you can go to Tribes.org to read a wide array of works by such authors as Joan Larkin, Malcolm Tariq, Kyle Dacuyan, Joey De Jesus, and others.

Martha Listen Martha, I know a thing or two about

the erotics of self-loathing. I know all about

self-inflicted, big-girl punishment,

about the pleasures of penetration –

yes, I said “penetration” –

and how that obliterates feelings of "less than"

by ramming them out of existence.

Bam, bam, bam.

I know about the masochist’s deficiencies

and the injustices of the sadist

who won’t validate your worth.

You think I don’t, Martha? Because I do.

Saying that last part out loud sounds ridiculous.

Doesn’t it, Martha?

I mean, I know better than anyone

not to romanticize pain

even if knowledge never guarantees a change,

not by a long shot. Every fool knows

where this crazy shit started

and where it’s headed, Martha.

You do, too, Martha.

But who wants to hear the ho-hum reasoning

of Freud; that same same old, blame-o excuse

about repressed longing turned

into some sort of shameful neurosis.

Advice is just a cliché with good intentions.

I say, make the most of what you’ve got

and get over yourself, Martha!

Have a drink, Martha!

Laugh it off. Buy a new dress.

And yet…

Sometimes, I can’t stop myself from recognizing

obliteration is the best solution.

Call me nuts but I do think a good

hurt is better than nothing at all.

Isn’t it, Martha?

Photo Credit: The above image is a still from Rainer Werner Fassbinder's Martha, the movie that inspired the poem.